Grief comes in many forms and you can even grieve someone you have never met. I never got to meet the father of the man that I love for reasons only he knows. I wanted to write my thoughts and hope in some way my messages get to him so he knows how much I appreciate his teachings. He raised an amazing man who has lost his way and does not believe in himself. I have loved this man for many years and we often joked it was more like lifetimes. We have known each other for decades but our love is not meant to be….at least in this lifetime. I come to this Barrancas cemetary to pay my respects for closure and to ask you to watch over BWR as he tries to navigate this world without you. I have tried to be there for him, but he simply does not want me in his life. He will forever be branded on me and in my heart. Your son brought me back to life at a time when I had lost all feeling and hope of ever loving another man. For that, I will always be thankful and wish I could do the same for him. I spent several years loving him from a distance and wished I was enough. I have decided to let him go, not because I do not love him, but because I love him enough to let him be happy without my interference. I miss him daily, but know he is better off with me faded into a memory. He misses you so much and I know he is questioning a lot of decisions left for him. Please watch over him and guide him back to living his best life. I will end this with something I wrote for him a few years ago so he knew how much he meant to me. Sadly, I never got to meet you, but want you to know how much I adore and love your son. One day, I hope he can see how absolutely wonderful he really is.
Thank you for your service. May you rest in peace, we have the watch.

"This Man"
Who is this man who has stolen my heart?
25 years and we have yet to part.
We started as friends and maintained that for years,
A trip to the North and the line disappears.
An undeniable connection and mutual respect,
Fate had no doubt we would one day connect.
This man has seen pain and he tries not to dwell,
He uses his humor as part of his shell.
He thinks he can hide it, but I know him too well.
This man is so brave; he’s dedicated to serve,
He’s never been given the praise he deserves.
This man knows the risk when he leaves home each day,
But he straps on his gear and still goes 10-8.
This man is my knight, without the white steed
His badge is his armor and his love’s all I need.
This man’s not alone; it’s him plus two,
The boy is his clone and she’s Punky Boo.
He’s protective of them, and fears they’ll be torn
But, I already love them as if they’re my own.
This man has eyes so blue and so bright,
I’ve often joked, they’re my kryptonite.
Our love is still new, there’s much left to give.
Forever by his side is where I will live.